


what the water gave me

by velmaddinkley



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Isolation, Original Characters - Freeform, Statement Fic, The Lonely (The Magnus Archives) - Freeform, fear of deep waters, no beta we die like gertrude
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 17:36:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29986443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/velmaddinkley/pseuds/velmaddinkley
Summary: Case #9871905. Statement of Gabriel Bianchi regarding the summer of 1987. Original statement given May 19th, 1994.
Kudos: 1





	what the water gave me

ARCHIVIST

Statement of Gabriel Bianchi regarding the summer of 1987. Original statement given May 19th, 1994. Audio recording by Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, London.

ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT)

This happened years ago, so you’ll have to forgive me if my recount isn’t as detailed as you wished it was. I tried to make myself forget this experience so many times, because no matter what I did, I couldn’t find anything that made it make sense.

I've been afraid of swimming for as long as I can remember. No particular reason; I don’t have any traumatic memories or occurrences that caused it. I’m just purely terrified of being anywhere near deep water. I think by the end of my story you will understand why this is a fear I haven't conquered yet.

On summer of ‘87, I decided I wanted this to change. Like any other thirteen-year-old, I obviously didn’t want to feel like a loser when compared to my peers, so I was trying to change myself into the coolest version of me. I had tried (and failed) to learn how to play the guitar to impress people, I wore leather jackets over my uniform because I thought it would make me intimidating. I even started purposefully getting lower grades to blend in with the cool guys. I guess I was just desperate to have any friends at school. And I decided that the coolest version of me simply couldn’t keep any of these childish fears. So I hesitantly asked my older brother Tony if he could teach me how to swim in that summer. I admit that I was a bit scared he would laugh at me, but Tony isn’t that kind of guy. He just told me it was alright, that he would teach me if I wanted and promised to not judge me for anything.

We were spending that summer in the house of some distant relative of my dad’s in Rio. The place was really impressive, and I couldn’t understand how those rich people could be in the same family as me. They had a nice pool, and Tony thought it was good to start there before I went to the sea.

Initially, he told me I should take a dive to learn how to hold my breath. He said this would help me to get used to the deep water - then I'd know that, even if I submerged, I could have the control. If I'm honest with you, part of me really wanted to chicken out, even though I didn’t want to give up on keeping a cool attitude. I think Tony noticed that, and he assured me that he would be right there to pull me out if I wasn’t able to emerge again in three seconds. Part of my brain still insisted, _"what if something happens and he can't pull me out?”_. But I tried to ignore these thoughts as I closed my eyes and pulled myself down into the water.

My heart started hammering in my chest as soon as I left the surface. I tried to ignore it and focused on counting the seconds, so I wouldn’t think of how much I didn’t like that pressure on my ears. Predictably, I felt completely paralyzed, as if the water would kill me if I moved. Completely irrational, I know, but I wasn’t in a great position to produce thoughts that made sense. 

I just managed to stretch my arms upwards so Tony could see I was struggling and pull up me easily. I opened my eyes, hoping to see his hand reaching down to me. But the three seconds passed and there was no sign of him.

I then felt a burning anger inside me. He had said I could trust him. How could he dare to fail me like this? I think the resentfulness was what gave me the strength to move upwards. I wanted to yell at him, to ask how could have let me down like that.

I emerged, promptly asking "what is wrong with you?" in between coughs. But when I managed to rub my eyes properly, I realized I was talking to no one. I looked around in confusion. He had been right there five seconds ago, how could have he just vanished? This somehow made me even angrier. Tony had never been the kind of person to make cruel pranks like that, and I couldn’t understand how he could think this was an okay thing to do.

I walked over the bushes that stood around the pool, figuring this was where he was hiding. But he wasn't there. I marched over the house, calling for him, telling him this wasn't funny. There was no one in the living room or in the kitchen. I went upstairs to look for Tony in the guest’s bedrooms, and not only he wasn’t there, but also I saw no sign of the rest of the family, or even the other relatives that were staying with us. There was just me.

I checked the library, the dining room, even the basement. The house was huge, so it took me a while, but I searched twice every bit of place they could be, calling for them until my throat hurt. But I found nothing.

This didn’t make sense. They were supposed to be in the house. We had all been reunited moments before Tony and went to the pool. And there was no way they could simply… leave so quickly. And even if they could, how could they leave me behind like that? My mum barely let me leave her sight for five minutes. I knew she would never leave me on my own in that house, and the same thing applied to my brother.

I tried to call the police, but whenever I tried to dial all I got was some weird, loud static noise. The sky was starting to exhibit the first signs of a sunset when I decided to get out of the house. There was a restaurant just around the corner and the managers knew my family, so I thought that perhaps I could ask the managers there to help. But when I got there, I found none of the staff or the customers. The restaurant was completely empty. I tried the neighbors and the other establishments nearby, but all of them were completely deserted. It was like every other person in the world had never existed. 

My only reaction was to keep walking, to keep looking for someone. I suppose this would’ve been enough for some people but I was merely a teenager, and there was nothing else I could do except this. It wasn’t even hope that things could get to normal. But to stop looking meant accepting this was real, and I couldn’t accept that.

When I reached the beach, there was a bright white fog hovering above the sand, making it impossible for me to see the sealine. It shifted in a weird way, like I had never seen before. I could swear I saw figures moving in its whiteness. They were shaped like people, a crowd of silhouettes that came and went before disappearing into the nothing. Never once noticing one another. When I tried to reach for them, I realized they were completely faceless.

The sight of their lack of expression was the last straw for me. I began to run away, sobbing into my hands in a way that made me almost glad that none of the other kids in my school were there to see me. Believe it or not, that was the only thing I could think of. 

I only stopped when I felt the sea touching my feet. With a startle, I realized there was an enormous ship moving away from the shore, only a few steps away from me. I ran in its direction, waving and yelling for help. A few people were standing among the shipping containers on the deck – the first solid people I had seen in a while -, and I felt rather hopeful for a moment, but none of them gave any indication that they could see me. Their expressions were blank, like their minds weren’t exactly in that place.

I waved frantically at them, which seemed to get one of the figures on the deck startled out of that transe. She was holding onto the edge of the ship, and I could see a long scar in the back of her hand. I yelled for her to help me, but she just looked at me impotently. The ship departed into the fog, and the waves came over my head, and I didn’t breath anymore. Before I could even think, I was already being pulled out, and when I emerged again, I was back at the summer house. Tony was smiling kindly at me. "See?", he was saying. "I told you I'd be here."

I did not try to tell him what actually happened, or to anyone. I just told him that maybe I did not want to learn how to swim anymore. He said he understood it completely. 

I still shiver whenever I see fog.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!  
> i decided to play w/ one of my favorite concepts in the show and this happened, feel free to let me know what you thought and how it made you feel!!


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